Aloofness in dating

03-Dec-2017 08:17 by 5 Comments

Aloofness in dating - tessie santiago dating site

It’s like getting thrown in a pool without floaties and being expected to know how to do a perfect backstroke. “It’s a two-sided affair to which both parties have agreed, and the norms need to be more egalitarian.Gender norms aside, I also dislike textual marination and the other ‘hard to get’ techniques. We need to drop the schoolyard shtick.”Tim agreed with Julian, at least in part: “There is something very attractive when a woman takes the initiative to reach out and organize dates,” he said.

He did, after all, initiate most of the milestones in our relationship (he asked me out on dates, said “I love you” first, started the conversation about defining our relationship).

“You can’t get too bogged down by the so-called rules, i.e.

don’t ever text a boy first, don’t kiss until he’s asked you out, etc. Suddenly, abiding by the rules made me feel power instead of powerful.

Participants who were set up with women they were already interested in, found the hard-to-get woman more desirable, but participants who were set up with random women found the easy-to-get woman more desirable.

That is to say, playing hard to get magnified desire if it already existed in the first place — but it wasn’t able to create desire from scratch. ,’ and you move from being chosen (passive) to being the chooser (active).”When she put it that way, something clicked.

When I had my first relationship in college, I was proud of myself for never texting him first — for a YEAR. It took me a long time before I realized that playing hard to get shouldn’t deny you agency — it should be a mechanism for prioritizing your life and your schedule.”Katherine says that, in her experience, the pitfalls of hard to get are exacerbated when the players are both women.

“Imagine the time and effort you and your friends put into concocting a plan of approach to get a guy to chase you,” she said.

My mom, very much in love with my dad, told him she was moving home to Virginia.

It wasn’t true of course, she merely hoped it would compel him to ask for her hand in marriage posthaste, to get her to stick around. I was born two years later, and my parents are still happily married to this day.

The philosophy of “playing hard to get” has been instilled in me since birth — partially because, without it, my birth might never have occurred.

Per the story my parents have rehashed for years, hard to get was the domino that tipped their relationship from dating into engagement.

“Now imagine there’s sides strategizing head-to-head, both playing hard to get, both wanting the chase.