Intimidating your children
Intimidating your children - Does skype have xxx chat rooms
If your child doesn’t want to go to school, resists getting dressed, has behavior problems in school and at home, and is threatening you and being verbally abusive, know that his whole level of functioning is off: being abusive to his siblings or to you is only one piece of it.
Here’s the bottom line: if we don’t help kids replace their inappropriate behavior with something healthier, they’re going to fall back on the inappropriate behavior every time. Parents also should develop ways to have problem-solving conversations with their kids.Once he realizes that, the next thing he’ll start to do is give in to his older sibling.You’ll hear the oldest sibling say abusive, foul things and then you’ll hear the younger kid say, “I’m sorry.” These are very powerful, damaging things to be happening in the family and should not be taken lightly.In part two of this two-part series on verbal abuse, James Lehman, MSW explains what you need to start doing as a parent to stop this pattern of behavior from occurring in your home. This type of behavior is generally a manifestation of a much bigger problem and a symptom of something more global that is going on with your child. I don’t care if you say I can’t go over to Jake’s house, I’m going anyway—and you’d better not try to stop me.” —Ben, Age 14, to His Mother Before we discuss ways to stop verbal abuse, threats, and intimidation, I want to say that these are very difficult issues to deal with individually in your home.Abusive people say, “I wouldn’t have abused you but you…” and fill in the blank.
So your child might say, “I’m sorry I hit you, but you yelled at me.” What they’re really saying is, “I’m sorry I hit you, but it was your fault.” And if you listen to the apologies of many of these abusive kids, that’s what you get.Having Problem-Solving Conversations with Your Child When children use abusive behavior to solve their problems, it’s important that they learn a way to replace that behavior with healthier problem-solving skills.It’s just not enough to point out—and give consequences for—that abusive behavior.Remember this: if you have an older child who’s abusive, and you let that child get away with this kind of behavior, your younger child will start to realize that his sibling is more powerful than you are as a parent.The younger child will begin to think that you can’t keep him safe from his older sibling.As far as the nature of the consequences or the nature of the limits set in this situation, again, that belongs to a more comprehensive discussion about how families should run and how parents should manage their families using a comprehensive structure.