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IT HAPPENS AROUND AGE 40, GIVE or take a few years.
THINK “JOURNEY,” NOT “DESTINATION.” Nina Atwood, a Dallas psy chologist and author of Be Your Own Dating Service: A Step-by-Step Guide to Finding and Maintaining Healthy Relationships, says the most important factor to dating successfully is having an open mind.But by the mid-’80s, dating attitudes began to change.Many women were growing tired of being perceived only as sex objects, and the fear of AIDS had cooled the fires of many once-ardent daters.“Men are still seen as ’bachelors,’ but women are ’old maids.’ People even start questioning your sexual preference if you aren’t married. “ The End of Saturday Night Fever ROGER ALBRIGHT, 43, A DALLAS ATTORNEY WHO HAS NEVER BEEN married, believes it’s more common now than ever for people to stay single into their 30s and 40s.But he acknowledges that many people, especially married people, do think there’s something wrong with anyone who reaches their 40s without marrying.If every date has to be the man you are going to marry, it puts too much pressure on him and on you.” It’s easy to find those unspoiled dates when you’re younger, when background is simply where you grew up and where you went to college.
But as we get older, all of our stories get too long and our baggage too heavy.But when you’re 40, and you’re not living happily ever after with Major Nelson or Darin Stevens, the game can get old.“It’s hard, especially for women,” says Crosskno, a human resources manager who has been with EDS for 16 years and has never been married or had children (“much to my mother’s dismay”). ” This is what we have to deal with just for being single, for taking a different road in life.” Relationships are a journey without a destination.If you are focused on an end point, whether that’s marriage or a commitment or children, that becomes all-consuming.I realized I could skip one and not be afraid that I would miss somebody,” Albright says.